I Win Either Way, by Jan Hunt

Jesus, something is terribly wrong. I know Lord, I know, You are the healer. Please take this wrong and make it right. I prayed for a divine healing, not even telling anyone my situation. Hebrews 10:23 says, “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”

I just know that I am not supposed to have these kinds of problems. Not me, not Jan Hunt! For many months I had constipation sometimes for two weeks (my only relief was with a laxative) and sometimes the bleeding was heavy.

Jan and her mom June

Lord, please heal my colon and let me be normal. The symptoms would come and go so I thought I was healed so many times. Bottom line I waited too long. I knew I should go to a doctor so I chose Ira Shafran M.D. He was the best colon and rectal doctor specializing in chromes disease. Colonoscopy was his first order, immediately with no wait. Soon I was scheduled. I did discover during the process, the drink was much worse than the procedure—I promise. So this drink was supposed make you be completely clear, liquid only. But my drink did not work. I thought,  “Oh good, another excuse to wait!”  I called Dr. Shafran at 5 a.m., the day of the scheduled procedure but he said, “You come in this hospital for this colonoscopy immediately.” I said to myself, you have to face this no matter what. I could still be healed, so keep the faith.

All morning I had an empty feeling, and I was very nervous. I was scared. I knew something was wrong. Morris was reassuring me, “God has already got it worked out, do not worry.” 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God did not give us the spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.”

A very great and incredible friend, met us at the hospital at 6 a.m., and graciously gave me a scripture from the Bible. Isaiah 43:1-2 but now this is what the Lord says—He who created you Jan, He who formed you Jan, fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name Jan; YOU ARE MINE. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

That is absolutely not the scripture I wanted to hear even though God said those promises. I could only think that something was wrong and I was going to go though something… what Lord, what?

After the colonoscopy in the recovery room, faintly I heard Morris’ voice, “Jan-Jan” trying to waken me, “I am here, and you are going to be fine. I love you. You are going to have surgery and they are going to get that tumor out of there. It has to come out now.” I was very groggy but awake enough to know what I was hearing. I think a wave of terror came over me but I was still out of it so maybe some peace set in. At that time Morris was crying and shaking trying to tell me about the surgery. It didn’t sound too great to me.

Jan and her oldest daughter, Heather

Dr. Shafran chose a great colon surgeon to operate as soon as possible. No going home, no more excuses. No chances to say no. Morris had to call all the family and friends. I remember all my family members and friends gathering in and outside of my little room. Well my children came from all over to be with me—Joey from Louisiana, Heather from Alabama, Haley and Holli, still living at home. My Dad and Mom, Wendell and June Amos came on the airplane from Tennessee. Most of my Sunday school class came too. Morris’ side of the family was there too. Of course my devoted husband was there by my side. While we were waiting for the surgery call, Morris lay in the tiny bed with me and held me, trying to console both of us. I remembered he thanked Jesus for all of this that we were going through as it was for His purpose. Soon I felt the prayers going to the Lord and I felt peace and love coming from my Jesus. Ok it was time to go. I was smiling while being wheeled off to surgery, waving at all my family and friends who were there to be with me. It meant so much-

This was the beginning.

1 Peter 5:10 says, “The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

I was in surgery for a colon resection, removal of twenty-two lymph nodes and my ovaries. The doctor was very positive that he got all the cancer and I spent eight days recovering in the hospital I had many visitors, Haley, Holli, and their friends, pastors, my family and friends.

We were supposed to go to Tennessee for the 4^th of July to fellowship with my Dad and Mom but NO…. we were too busy with business to take time to visit. God had his own plan…He put us all together anyway. We spent some beautiful times together in the hospital. There were tea parties, many laughs and prayer. We were all so thankful for God's mercy and grace. I was healing fast and soon I would get to go home.

Jan's daughters, Haley and Holli

Mark 11:24 says, “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them and you will have them.”

During my hospital stay I was in a huge corner room all by myself. I had lots of space for visitors, all the many flower bouquets, and a lovely view of the lake beside the hospital. I could see into the corridor of the cancer floor and I would see patients go by, either walking slowly usually with help from a nurse or in a wheel chair being pushed around. There were even those much younger than me. I am so thankful for being done with all this surgery and hospital stuff.

Haley was in 10^th grade and had been writing songs and singing. This is her heart. She wrote a song about this whole situation and it goes like this:

Why in the world would this happen to me now?

Just as soon as it’s all going so well. I can’t handle it

Don’t even understand it

All this pain and so much confusion

There’s no reason, well I don’t see it.

I’ve been so faithful so why am I tested now

But I know that when it’s over,

I can look back and see the blessings now

B’cause you see I’m stronger You ran through it with me

Persevering.

Gotta get back up from slipping down

What is this cancer stuff? A disease we know very little about or where it actually comes from. There are many kinds and cancer certainly knows no age. Cancer strikes when we least expect it. It is so frustrating because we do not know how to prevent it or treat it. Medical strides have definitely gotten better but research is still going on and all doctors can do is prescribe things that have been successful.

Jan and Morris

I have known many with cancer. We have sold cancer insurance policies for sixteen years thanks to my Dad. He got us so interested in this cancer policy because it helped people who had to go through cancer treatment. I had helped hundreds of clients with cancer claims. Jesus even gave me an opportunity to pray with some of these people and their families. I had no idea how effective my prayers were. I always wondered what Jesus thought about them and if they really worked. While I saw those who had been going through cancer treatment, I thought in my own mind that if cancer happened to me I probably would not have treatment, because it seemed that the treatment was worse than the illness. I never thought it would happen to me and when it did I was going to fight and survive and live.

In Deuteronomy 30:19, God gives us a choice to have life and to be a fighter. When I made up my mind to fight, it sure made me feel better, especially when I knew God was on my side. However, there was always the question, Am I going to die?

An oncologist who was assigned to me came in to check me out. The oncologist broke the worst news of all speaking the word that I dreaded to hear, “chemotherapy”. No way I cannot do this. She strongly recommended this chemotherapy because there could still exist cancer cells, and hopefully this chemotherapy will kill what is left. I cried and cried and could not believe it. Jan Hunt has cancer, surgery, and now chemotherapy. I almost could not bear the thought of chemotherapy even though I knew very little about it.

I did know however, because of the teaching we learned, I must speak good health, resist the sickness, be positive, know God’s will is to heal me. He wants me to be whole, and stay away from the negative and keep my eyes on Jesus. Finally be strong in the Lord.

Joel 3:10 says, Let the weak say, “I am strong.”

I was recovering quickly, discharged from the hospital and could not wait to get home. My brother, Jerry and his wonderful family had come to visit and my children, Joey, Heather, Haley, Holli, Dad, Mom, and Morris were there. I was so excited to see everyone. They surprised me with a big welcome home.

Haley, Heather, Holli, Joey

I had an incision down the middle of my stomach that was pretty painful for a while. Morris had to keep up our business, the Florida Monument Service and Insurance Agency. I know it was hard for him to concentrate and work. And my parents were at our house waiting on me. They were working, cooking, cleaning, laundry and all the little things, plus encouraging, loving and helping to keep the home front together. They helped in so many ways. My husband Morris was so patient, compassionate and positive. I know it was hard for everyone. Within a few weeks I was going back to work but I knew chemo was still going to happen.

My first day of chemo was so very hard. I did not know what to expect. I did not want to go and I dreaded chemotherapy so much. It was not too bad the first treatment. I felt pretty good. My romantic husband surprised me and took me to West Palm Beach to have a little get-away. We stayed in a five star resort on the beach for the weekend. The restaurants were fabulous. We snacked during the day and splurged at dinner. We had first class service even on the beach, under huge umbrellas, served with lemonade and water fans. Thank you Morris, you are my hero. Some side effects started to become evident but it was not that bad, a few mouth sores, hair loss, diarrhea, and red skin, but it never got much worse than that.

I went every week for six months, however the injections only took a few minutes. I prayed the chemo was a blood transfusion from Jesus instead of medicine. Jesus would go with me every day to my treatments and help me through each day. I would play favorite praise songs from Kirk Franklin, like He Will Take the Pain Away. The words are:

He’ll take the pain away

I know He’ll take the pain away.

Though you’ve been searching for such a long time

Searching for hope and some peace of mind

There’s a friend who will step in on time

He’ll take the pain away.

Jesus.

Jan with her daughters

I knew because of the teachings we had I was to speak health, and resist sickness, be positive, know I am in God’s Hands and His will is for me to be healed completely and to be whole again.

Matthew 8:2-3 says, when the leper came to Jesus, and knelt down before Jesus, saying “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. “I am willing, be clean [healed].” Immediately he was healed.

My children, Joey, Heather, Haley and Holli were so understanding and supportive. I often wondered what they thought being a part of all of this. What is going on? What is going on with my mother? Will she live through this? They were praying, fasting and watching while they trusted the Lord. It was so hard on them too.

After chemotherapy, I was able to go back to work every time. Thank you Jesus. I was as close to normal as possible. My appetite was not so great and I lost more hair. I was approaching my last treatment after six months. Boy was I excited, celebration time. I was healed. Thank the great Lord Jesus for all the blessings. I slowly recovered from the chemo in my body and my thin hair began to grow back. Morris told me to cut it short so I did.  He knew I always wanted short hair. I had kept it long. That is the way Morris liked it.

I had periodic Cat and Pet scans and all looked great until two years later. I just had tests a few days before and I was relaxing by the lake Friday afternoon when Morris came down and said the doctor wants you to call her Monday. She had never called me before. The scare and terror came back. I thought I was healed. I could hardly stand waiting until Monday. It was probably nothing.

The doctor said, “There is a spot on your liver and you need surgery to take it off.” I already had surgery. I had chemo to kill all the cancer cells they couldn’t see. My liver, how could I have colon cancer on my liver? I know it can spread but I was healed. At this point what do I do? Morris said, “No matter what, we will get through this together.” He said, “God already has it worked out.”

2 Corinthians 5:7 say, "We live by faith, not by sight."

Joey, Taylor, and Ashlyn

I stayed positive in the next few days knowing I was healed. The testing was very hard. The results were positive cancer. Colon cancer had moved to the liver however it was caught early and there was only one lesion. Thank you Jesus. I could have surgery.

Matthew 19:26 says, "Jesus said, "with man this is impossible but with God all things are possible."

Now we need to search for a surgeon. Not many doctors who actually did this surgery would accept my insurance. With my mother’s prayer and perseverance, she found several doctors out of state.

What am I to do, where do I go, do I need to rush, take my time, put it off, or what?

One doctor we found at Dana Farbar hospital in Boston. He could fit me in. Most other doctors were too busy. I wanted the best, of course, who wouldn’t? Mom made us an appointment. Dad and Mom drove up from Tennessee and we flew from Orlando. We met in Boston. What a beautiful and interesting city. We spent some time shopping, eating, sightseeing and fellowshipping. What a blessing it was! God turned so many things that looked not so good into good.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.”

Jan, Taylor, and Ashlyn

My appointment was at the Dana Farber hospital. I remember pulling into the hospital parking garage and my cell phone rang. Holli called with excitement in her voice…she was so enthusiastic and happy to announce to Morris and I, “I made class president of my freshman class and I made homecoming court.” I wanted so bad to give her a big hug. Wow! Thank you Jesus for another blessing in the storm.

I was thinking that I am glad I am not missing these kinds of episodes in my children’s life. How blessed I am. I could never say enough about my children. They love Jesus. They have been so precious to me.

We went into this gigantic hospital. The doctor was renown, highly recommended liver surgeon. So this is great. We took in the records and I was very nervous. All of us were I am sure. Lots of people, lots of hustle bustle as doctors and staff were attending to patients like me. Dad, Mom, Morris and I were waiting when the large tall older man (bowtie and all) came in the room with no smile. He had a quiet solemn personality and we waited patiently while he studied my slides and test results. After pondering for a while, he said, “Well I can do surgery but there won’t be any promises. In fact I wouldn’t even bother to take chemotherapy or radiation, surgery or not. You probably have about a 25% chance of making it.”

Jan and Maleah

We all four looked at each other and silently with our eyes said let’s get out of this place. The doctor had just spoken death on me with no hope of even living very long. I knew better than that. I was so disappointed. I did know to stay away from negative people and discouraging comments. Our words are powerful. I used to tell my family to tell people who asked about me, that I had challenges and needed prayer, and to please not ever tell them I was not doing well.

My Mom got her doctor list out that she so diligently worked on. The doctor that we really wanted, Dr. Michael Choti, did not have time to see me. He was too booked and could not work me in the last time my Mom called him. So now my Mom suggested I call again just in case. So I rang the Dr. Choti at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland. His secretary answered and sounded so optimistic. “Dr. Choti just happens to be standing here.” Can you believe this? He told her to have me come in six days. Can you believe it? God had done it again. I had so much peace. Thank you Jesus. You are perfect in all your ways.

Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.”

I could not believe this was happening—not again. I thought: not another surgery, needles, hospital anesthesia, pain, and more chemotherapy. I prayed for peace, but it was hard to pray for myself. My cancer is spreading. Am I going to die?

Jan and Maleah

Instead of going all the way home from Boston, Morris, Dad, Mom, and I decided to travel a few days taking an unforgettable trip before heading to Baltimore. Dad and Mom took us in their car to some of their old stomping grounds when they went antique hunting in New England. Morris and I had never been to the New England area. We enjoyed the time together.

Jesus led us right to Dr. Choti at Johns Hopkins. We all felt peace with him. He was a liver surgeon specialist. He was the favorite of all of us. A short visit and checking out the scans, Dr. Choti’s encouragement was overwhelming. He said “you are a young, healthy and strong person, and we can do this” I was ready right then – get it done and over with, but he was very booked and could not operate for several weeks. Mom and Dad drove all the way home 800 miles to Tennessee. Morris and I flew home to make arrangements in our family and business for our inevitable journey back to Baltimore.

I knew one thing; Jesus led us directly to this wonderful Dr. Choti by a miracle. He would take off a slice or chunk of liver with the cancerous lesion. He would also check the rest of the liver for other lesions while in there. He recommended a chemo pump that would be inserted in my body with a time release of chemotherapy for an undetermined amount of time. I turned that part down; I had no peace about the pump and could not handle that too.

Jan and her brother Jerry

Our oldest daughter Heather was staying with Haley and Holli. Someone was helping out at our office while we were gone There were a lot of preparations.

Dad and Mom drove all the way back to Baltimore to meet us.

The time flew by and it was time to leave for Baltimore. We all stayed at the Marriott on the bay downtown. Morris made sure I had a huge window to see everything. It was so beautiful. There was a gorgeous yacht club and marina on the water with taxi boats to carry us from one side to the other. Dad, Mom, Morris and I played, laughed, carried on like kids. Dad and Mom took us to Flemmings Steak House for Morris and my 25^th wedding anniversary. It was so awesome. After dinner we got yummy chocolate dinner mints and stuffed our coat pocket full of them. It was crazy. After we ate all the mints we went back in the restaurant and got some more. What a wonderful dessert!

The next day I had to fast and Mom fasted with me—clear liquids only and nothing after midnight; you know the routine.

Morris comforted me all night as the anxiety had set in and I was petrified. I knew my Jesus was loving me, holding and carrying me during this but I could not help wondering how everything was going to happen.

It was 6 a.m., October 26—surgery time. Morris, Dad and Mom were there with me all the way right along with Jesus.

Thank you Jesus again and again. The surgery was over and I was hurting some. There was little remembrance of what was going on. I had a long opening on my right side. Dr. Choti said all looks clear now and that I should be fine. Thank you Jesus again and again.

                  .

I recovered fast and I was able to go to the airport with my strong tolerant husband with me all the way. He took such good care of me. Dad and Mom left the day we were flying home. They had to drive all the way home to Florida.  God bless you Dad and Mom, you are such a blessing.

When I got home I had such a warm welcome. My family was so encouraging and helpful.

Jan and Morris

I had chosen a new oncologist before my surgery. This doctor at Florida Hospital was great. He recommended more chemo as soon as possible. For one more year I had two types of chemo intravenously. I dreaded these treatments too. I tried sipping on freezing " Icies"  from the Seven-Eleven store every time before and during treatment. It was a miracle. I did not lose one hair and had no mouth sores this time. Wow, what a blessing. I did have the normal side effects. There were some ups and downs, mostly ups. God gave me an extra boost and peace to sustain me all the time. I was so thankful to be living. My Dad and Mom came again for three more months to help us out. They are Saints and deserve a huge crown and a big beautiful mansion in heaven.

Dad and Mom helped Morris and me cook for our church, Faith Assembly ‘s ladies luncheon (250) right after my first surgery. We loved this ministry.  We fixed broccoli cheese soup and chicken salad croissants. This next time after surgery we cooked barbecue chicken, hotdogs, hamburgers, beans, potato salad, turkey legs, for the church’s fall festival (1500) people. We always had a blast and Dad and Mom never complained but worked so very hard.

This time after my surgery and during chemo I was sustained by the Holy Spirit again to not be sick and not miss work. I continued to play my praise songs, such as Fred Hammond's Breathe Into Me O Lord. The words are:

When the battle makes me weary

It seems that I’ve lost ground

It’s so hard to hear your voice Lord

With distractions all around

I try to lift my hands to give you praise

But then a spirit of heaviness

Tries to shield your face so I’m saying breathe

Breathe into me oh Lord. The breath of life

So that my spirit would be whole and my soul made right

Breathe into me Lord, day by day

So that my heart is pure before you.

Jan and Haley

During this bout with colon cancer in my liver, I found a book –Healed of Cancer by Dodie Osteen. All of my family read it and it witnessed to us so much. The testimony of her healing and her constant reliance on God and his word was so comforting. I found the relief for my family as they were encouraged by Mrs. Osteen’s miracle. I bought many of these little books from Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas.

During chemotherapy all of the patients sat in a circle facing each other. We would exchange greetings, share smiles, expressions of pain, excitement, fear, hope and discouragement. We would watch TV, listen to music, eat, sleep, and even talk. I gave out many of Dodie Osteen’s books and they were usually welcomed. I believe that the books helped those not to lose hope. Many were in despair with no hope or encouragement for many different reasons. Nurses were running around waiting on patients and attending to buzzers that go off taking time to change the chemo bags or unhooking us. Yea! So we could go home now. But as soon as I gaze around the room I wonder who actually has faith and hope and who doesn’t. Most don’t smile but some do. Does that mean they have hope? Or is it just a good attitude? I do not know. I do know that I have a lots if hope. This is not fun but I’ll make the best of it. There are so many praying for me. God’s word says he promises to heal me. Will that be while I am in earth or will it be when I am in heaven? I Win Either Way.

But I told God that my will is to be in earth as long as possible, to selfishly fulfill my wonderful life He has given me. But even more than that, asking what do you want me to do for you Lord Jesus?

Morris, Heather, Durran, & Jan - her oldest daughter's wedding in Destin, FL - 2003

One thing I know, if I am me, sitting here in chemo, looking at him or her across the room, would I want this little book to read about the fulfillment of God’s healing promises. By this book, Mrs. Osteen helped give me hope and encouragement to beat this horrible disease. Yes, yes, yes, the best thing about the book was the forty healing scriptures in which the Osteens confessed for their life. The word of God became powerful in their life. The comfort from God’s word was astonishing. The Holy Spirit penetrates your very being just reading those beautiful, powerful, exciting words. There is so much comfort. You can feel and know God’s tender touch and His love and care as he reveals the promises. It makes the suffering easier when I can know He loves us so much. Every person I gave a book to “gently grabbed” the book and with eyes, lips, or expression said thank you. I told each one "this book blessed me so much and when you get healed you can pass it on to someone else who might need it."

When I was fighting, during surgery, recovery, and chemo, God would always bring me someone he wanted me to talk to and pray for. There were many. Wow, what an honor. My hope is to pray for a physical healing and the precious person would grow greatly in Jesus, to be encouraged, to have faith, to not give up, to stay strong, to reject negative words and attitudes used against them.

My life was amazing; I finished my chemo after the liver surgery in early 2002. My side effects were minimal. I was working and spending time with family.

I was healed.  One day after work, Morris and I went home and when I walked into the house, I could not

believe my eyes, my heart jumped, I began to sob .I was overwhelmed. My house was filled with fifty or more friends and family who were there to celebrate at my HEALING PARTY that Haley and Holli had prepared for me. I was so surprised.   All of those who helped pray me through this were there, my chemo nurse, my pastor and his wife, friends, and neighbors. Wow, all I could do is rejoice and thank Jesus for this miracle. Hallelujah!!! I was flabbergasted and delighted.  Thank you Haley and Holli for your love and care for me.

Two years later April 2003, I had some routine scans done and…“There is something on your left lung,” said the radiologist at Boston Diagnostic Imaging. . That time was "a fuzz" to me. I supposed I was stunned and numb. This is how I breathe. This is how I live. Colon cancer is in my lung? What will I do now?

We found a heart transplant doctor.  During our visit I was horrified to think of losing part of my lung. I figured if he could transplant hearts, he could cut off a part of my lung. I liked this doctor very much; he was very positive and encouraging.

Our oldest daughter Heather had set her wedding date to June 7^th 2003—a beach wedding in Destin, Florida. She had waited so long for this dream to come real. Should I wait or have my inevitable surgery before the wedding? Recovery time was unknown so I waited until the Monday after Heather’s wedding which turned out to be the ultimate wedding from God.

Jan with her parents Wendell and June Amos and brother Jerry

We left for Orlando from Destin Sunday morning June 8. Mom and Dad came too. Can you believe what parents I have? Their devotion was so appreciated. Here again was my great loving husband watching his wife go through her third surgery and whatever else. He was like a rock. God had given him so much strength. Morris stood by me with even more encouraging and uplifting ministry saying and believing “God already had everything worked out, do not worry.” The reminder from Morris was so lovely to my ears and heart.

Romans 1:11-12 says, “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong---that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.”

I know you love me Lord and I trust you.

Matthew 22:37 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first and greatest commandment.”

I do Lord.

Apprehension was building Sunday night, seeming like a terrible dream. Since I hate needles I was frightened even though this was surgery number three. Again my faithful husband Morris was there to love and inspire me with hope.

I thought this heart transplant doctor was only going to take a portion of my lung but I ended having my whole left lung removed. The colon cancer had spread more than they thought. After surgery I was taped up all around my chest. Morris, my children, my parents were there for me.  I felt so good that I thought I was an   outpatient and I was going home right then. I felt great. Mom and Morris took turns staying with me. Mom and I watched episodes of I Love Lucy—my favorite.

Before I left the hospital on Saturday, only six days later, a partner oncologist asked me if I had ever had bone scans or an MRI of the brain. No, I had not. I was informed that I would have both before I leave the hospital that day. What is he talking about? We were puzzled. In a few minutes they came to get me for the tests, and finally I was discharged that same day.

Again I was so thankful to get home. My pain was minimal compared to previous surgeries. I only had a ten-inch incision in my back. I really felt great and was off pain medicine quickly.  The following Monday morning, we were all sitting around the table, talking and having coffee—Morris, Dad, Mom and I.

Jan with her family

The partner doctor called and spoke to Morris giving him the MRI and bone scan results. The bone scan was negative. Thank you, Jesus. Morris told us all that the doctor said: “She has two brain tumors and you need to go to the radiation department at Florida Hospital ASAP.”

We all just became quiet and still. They were all looking at me. I was overwhelmed and engulfed with disappointment and terror. I left everyone and went to my room and shut the door. I lay on the bed and couldn’t even cry. I was unable to have any feeling at all. I could not get mad, or sad, or happy. I thought this is dumb. Just go on and think about it later. I went back out to the table and asked some questions.

Morris had made an appointment with the radiologist in a few hours and I wanted to go to my office to look at my mail and do a few things. Dad and Mom took me to the radiologist at Florida Hospital. I had no idea what was in store for the next couple of weeks. Here we go…

Five days a week I received radiation on my head. The first treatment was not as bad as I thought, there was no pain, and it only took twenty minutes each day for three weeks. I just lost all my hair, but I was celebrating my last treatment. I was told in three weeks to have another brain MRI to see if the radiation worked on the tumors. I had to take oral chemo for the tumors also.

I felt great, my lung scar was healing up very fast, and I am healed—I know this. In three weeks after the MRI the radiologist told me to go to a neurologist. I chose a very good doctor. My brain tumors were still there. Thank you Jesus that there were no more tumors and there was no increase in size.

The neurologist was a little disappointed that I had the radiation first instead of trying the Gamma Knife treatment first. Fifteen treatments of radiation on the head is the limit for the brain but the Gamma Knife procedure specifically targets the tumors. He scheduled me as soon as possible. I was very nervous. I did not know exactly what was going to happen. All I knew was I didn’t want to know anything. I was very thankful that I was a candidate for this procedure.

First they put a frame on my head, followed up with an MRI to locate the exact place of the tumors. Then the physicist, radiologist, and neurologist do the treatment by putting my head into a Gamma Knife machine that already located the tumors and zaps them. After another MRI a month later, it showed I had no tumors. They are gone… Praise Jesus. I am a miracle child. I took more chemo for eight months for my lung.

Today a man commented on “faith healers”.  He wanted to argue with me and that I will not do. He claimed he had seen those “performances” on television. Who are we to question God?  How do we come against or judge someone who may have God’s anointing to touch people for healings and other purposes. 

Jan and Taylor

I told the man that I consider an honor to pray for those who need prayer or ask for prayer. I have prayed for those who did not get healed. I will never turn down that request because we never know what God’s plan is and I will never give up. Perhaps I would be praying for not only physical healing but emotional and spiritual as well.

I will never forget the day I went to my friend Pauline’s house. She had several small strokes in the past. When she answered the door, Pauline stood there and said, “Hi, Jan, come in,” all slurred and slow. This had happened before. Immediately I felt angered  (at the devil), put my hands on her head and shoulder and said, “In the name of Jesus, those slurred words must go.” I do not remember all the rest except we prayed and praised, Her speech was normal. We were crying and rejoicing and thanking Jesus. That was a miracle and to think He used me. How honored I was to think that God used me. I was thankful and thrilled for Pauline.

We saw God’s divine healing take place right in front of our eyes. Do you think maybe we have seen miracles before when we have prayed for people, and we just could not realize it? Or maybe God’s purpose was fulfilled and we did not know it?

I am a Christian and I love my Lord Jesus. I am not afraid of dying but perhaps afraid of leaving my husband, children, and parents. What will they do without me? Will I miss them terribly like going on a very long trip? This is how our human minds think. But it is OK. God made our minds and I believe these are normal thoughts.

I know I am going to Paradise that has been prepared for me.... because my Precious Lord Jesus Christ has suffered, and died for me. All my filthy sins have been forgiven.  He has given me eternal life in heaven with Him forever.

John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”

Jesus promises in the Book of Revelation if we can overcome He will give us the right to sit with Him on His throne just as Jesus overcame and sat down with His Father. (Revelation 3:21)

Paradise will be so wonderful. Our little minds cannot even imagine what God has made for us. Do you remember what it was like to plan a birthday party or graduation party for our children? I was always excited in trying to surprise them and make it so special. Wow, that is how Jesus feels preparing the party and welcome for each of us, with the angels and our loved ones.

That is why say, “I Win Either Way.” If God is not ready for me yet and decides to heal me on earth, I get to stay and be with my family, carrying out all God’s plans for my future. I appreciate this greatly, and I am so thankful for His mercy on my life.

Jan and her daughters

However, if God calls me to heaven which I thought could happen many times over the last six years, He will let me go to the promised place of peace and rejoicing, and walking side by side with Jesus, seeing His face and worshipping Him always. I know words cannot describe the magnitude of glory that must be, but that is why I say, “I win either way.”

Why do some get healed and some do not? Does God love certain people more than others? NO! Is it because some do not have enough knowledge or faith for healing? We will never know but continue to ask “why?”

I try to remember praying is for healing of physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. I have known some that did not get healed and they died with cancer. Maybe when we pray, those have their emotions or spirits restored. I believe that every person becomes healed and completely restored on their way to heaven.

Sometimes it is hard to minister to others with cancer when I have been healed. After people tell me what they have been through, they ask, so how are you? I must learn to be a good receiver. God will do for everyone exactly what He did for me. So I am so excited to tell the person with cancer what God did for me. “Well I went through colon cancer and had a colon resection, it spread to my liver and I had a liver resection, then I lost my left lung due to colon cancer, and then two brain tumors. I have had chemotherapy, radiation and three surgeries, but there is no cancer in my body, Wow! Thank you, Jesus. The other person says, “That is wonderful.”

But I know and totally believe that God will heal every single person with cancer like he did for me. Some may have to go to heaven to be healed. It is so sad to lose someone to cancer. After prayers, begging God to spare their lives, and fasting, and speaking God’s healing promises, they still die. We must trust the Lord Jesus Christ.

But where is heaven and what is heaven? Not in the clouds floating around in the blue sky like we see in an airplane. It is a real place with mansions, streets of gold, angels and lots of God’s children, like you and me.

John 14:2 says, “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

Wendell and June Amos

Maybe heaven is a prize sometimes given early in our earthly life and sometimes late.

Philippians 3:14 says, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Jesus Christ.”

Of course there were many tears in between all the things I went through but among the tears of terror and heartache were more, much more tears of joy, happiness, success, breakthroughs, blessings, rewards, closeness, interaction, relationships, and many things that are so hard to explain in words.

Whether I am healthy, sick, troubled, strong, weak, rich, poor, happy or sad I must press on to take hold of what Jesus has for me. I will be thankful for all things. I may not be able to run physically or survive emotionally if I am going through cancer or other situations but spiritually the Holy Spirit will assure us and comfort us and remind us of how much God loves us. I must keep my eyes on Jesus and pray that when my body is gone, my spirit is rich and rewarded, living forever in the presence of my Lord Jesus Christ.

I waited patiently for the Lord

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit

And out of the mud and mire

He set my feet on a rock

And gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,

A hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

And put their trust in the Lord.

(Psalm 40:1-3)

Prayer:

Lord, sometimes we feel we have more than we can handle, but I know this is not true. You already have it handled. The slimy pit and mud and mire is only sin, self-pity and lies from the enemy. You have given us the power to overcome all of that and we take the authority you have given us to claim victory for our families and ourselves.

Morris, Jan, and Maleah

Help us to make the right decisions 

Please reveal clearly your will for us. Thank you for my precious family. As you already know, they are so special. Let them know how much you love them in some incredible way.

Please honor their tremendous faith and protect my family with your angels and your precious powerful blood.

Thank you for taking care of them especially my wonderful children.

We count on you and trust you Lord Jesus.

I love you Jesus. I love you with all of my heart, soul, and mind and strength.

Love,

Haley's Chapter

The hardest thing about being a Christian is trying to answer the question, "why do bad things happen to good people." So many of my friends have asked me that before attempting to step out on faith and believe in God.

    As a teenager just starting high school, I was just initiating my quest to figure out exactly what I, Haley Hunt was all about. Dealing with my self esteem, wanting to fit in with all the "cool" girls in school, trying to make new friends and shine a light by setting an example, it really hit me when I found out my mom had "it". The one thing everyone seems to have, but never could it show up in your home. All the “imperative particulars” in high school seemed to fade away immediately. For four years- my mom dealt with the cancers, you just read the story, so you know. And me, I was trying to be a light to my family without falling a part at school, and a light to my school without falling apart at home. I would bring my boom box to the hospital and sing Fred Hammond songs to my mom while she was laying in the bed with tubes and I.V.’s in the Intensive Care Unit. The nurses could hear me and come in and ask me to turn it down. I wasn't afraid to have a little church service for just me and mom; because this is what she asked for. But it was one of the most difficult things to do. Trying to sing with a smile, looking at your mom basically dying, but no one will admit it.

       The summer before my senior year of high school, I went to a Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp, where high school and college students spend one week, playing sports, fellowshipping with other students and growing spiritually. Well, in my heart I was very bitter towards chasing after God and growing at all spiritually, because every time I do, the devil would come in for his attack. This was really upsetting me the first day of camp, and I remember talking to one of the college counselors Darren, about this. He sat me down and shared that he had just lost his Father. He explained to me that in Romans 8:17 God told us we are heirs of Him, which makes us brothers and sisters with Jesus. And because of that, we have as much power as Jesus did on earth. We will go through trials like Jesus, be persecuted like Jesus did, and also have the power to perform and see miracles happen just like He did. I was mystified, because Jesus laid hands on the blind and they saw. He touched the sick and they were healed. He raised people from the dead. We don’t have this much power do we?

    He explained, the reason we don’t see miracle like that today is because hardly anyone has faith like Jesus did. People don’t believe that He could use them like that. This also means that no matter what, there will be NOTHING that we go through that we can not handle. And if the devil tries to tear you down, brush him off. After I was enthused by this new revelation that I actually have as much power as Jesus does, then I was ready to step out on faith and try God. By the way, God asks us to test him, so He can show us what He can do.

     At the end of the week, all the huddles were saying their goodbyes on Thursday night, because the next morning we all went back home. I remember sitting in a circle, talking to the girls about what we all needed prayer for. There was one girl in particular, Nicole, and she started explaining that her Grandfather had cancer and now her dad has it. She told us that the next day her dad was going in for his last test before he had surgery the next week. Something moved in my spirit, and I raised my hand and said,

     “Nicole, your dad doesn’t have cancer anymore.”

The huddle leader was freaked out that I said that, and asked me to let her finish. But for some reason I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut and told her once again;

    “Nicole, your dad is healed and he does not have anymore cancer.”

      My huddle leader tried to end the little prayer request circle quickly after that, probably because she was extremely uncomfortable. I had no idea why in the world I thought of healing, or even more importantly why I said it out loud. But I trusted God for Him to heal her Dad.

     The next day, we drove to Tuscaloosa, Alabama to stay with my sister for a week before going home. I decided to check my email, and there was a note from Nicole to the whole huddle.

      It read:

Hey Ladies! This week was amazing! I was so blessed to meet each one of you. Guess what? I have a praise report. Today my dad went in for his last test before his surgery next week, and the cancer disappeared. The doctors have no idea what happened. They went ahead and had to cancel the surgery for next week, and my dad is cancer free.

    Haley, thank you for your faith.

                                                Nicole 

    Needless to say, I was officially freaking out inside.  

    By the time I got to my senior year of high school, I did NOT care what anyone thought of me. I had established that a real Christian is NOT boring, NOT judging, but loves people unconditionally and can have more fun than most people. I had a main group of friends that I hung out with, mostly the football team because they were like my brothers. They always thought it was crazy because everyday at lunch I would sit at a different lunch table. One day with the drama kids, then with the Asian kids, then the chess club, and the gothic girls, and my black sista’s, and the jocks, and the chorus kids, and the outcasts. Everyone knew I was a Christian and also knew that I probably didn’t have it half as bad as most of them. But that I held on strong and used my mom’s testimony as my rock in relating to them.   I got to use this situation all through out high school to talk to people who needed someone to comfort them. No I didn’t grow up poor, and no I didn’t ever get sick, and no, I had never gotten in trouble with the law or was abused while I was growing up. I was never made fun of, I was always liked, and I never had to worry about being cold at night. But I was going through this. This was MY trial. The one trial the God knew Haley Morgan Hunt could handle. He knew I probably wasn’t strong enough to deal with most other things. But this, this was my battle. I used my battle to prove to them that no matter what they were going God had them in His hand. 

     My Senior year I won Homecoming Queen, and I stood there crying and crying. Not because I was happy, but because I felt unworthy. Out of all the girls, the prettiest and most popular one was suppose to win. I was told over and over, its because you are you Haley. I didn’t really know what they meant, but I could take a guess. I know this sounds inadequate to the whole point of the book. But, here is my point:

     I am now 22, and I still don't know the answer to that infamous question,” why do bad things, happen to good people?”. But I do know that great things happen to people who are faithful and young people who lay everything down and give God their life. I have gotten to experience things in my life that people only dream is reality. I have felt spiritual things that people make movies about.  I have seen the hardest thugs and atheists, to the girl everyone thinks has the world, but really she’s dealing with suicidal thoughts, to the teacher who gave up hope a long time ago and that kid no one pays attention to ALL give their life to Jesus because they saw how blessed I was. I allowed God to use me as a vessel. No I am no one special, BUT I just did everything to glorify him and He in return glorified me. God is so real, and without my mom going through cancer, I would not be who Haley Hunt is today.

 Young ladies and young men, being a Christian is not a boring, sad, depressing or an un-cool thing. Its tough, everyday setting an example, and trying to be the one that is different. When trials come like cancer, or losing a game, or disappointing people, you have got to get up- brush your knees off and keep looking towards victory. And Yes, you will make mistakes, big ones and little ones. But you know what? God forgives us, and knows our hearts.

I always tell people who first give their life to Jesus, to hold on, because trials and temptations are going to fall into their lap. But God can’t wait to bless you, exalt you and in due time you will see He has your victory in His hands perfectly planned out.

        Here is my last thought- As my mom asked us all to write something about our experience with this, and how we got through, she continually asked for us NOT to glorify her and how great she was- so  I didn’t. I wrote this for everyone who is trying to find their “purpose’ in life. If your 15, 35, or 75, God is waiting for you to give him your life. Do NOT let life take your joy away. Understand that YOU were chosen for the trial you are going through. Know and believe that there is ALWAYS a reason. You are the only person who can handle what you are going through. Be encouraged, and know that He’s got your back. Don’t hate God for the trials- just keep praising Him, because He WILL glorify you and take care of you in due time. Plant seeds in souls today.  It’s a lost world out there- let us be the gardeners and see gardens of fruit and love.

I love you all. Thank you for reading.
     Live life to the point of tears, Haley - www.haleyhunt.com

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